King Kev!!

[Ste Preece]

NUFC has just issued a statement clarifying its earlier statement and
further stating that a further statement will be issued today further
outlining the timescale for the next issuing of statements. The issuing of
statements concerns a statement of issues which may or may not have been the
subject of earlier statements, but which are all ongoing at this moment in
time.

The Club wants to keep progressing with its long-term statement-issuing
strategy and would like to stress that these statements are extremely
important both now and in the future. The Club has not withdrawn the
statement it earlier issued, which it had not issued anyway, but if it had,
it hasn't withdrawn it and if it hadn't, it hasn't not withdrawn it.

Kevin Keegan still remains very much the subject of our statements, and he
has not not been sacked, nor has he not been not sacked, nor has he not
rescinded his non-resignation, nor is the Club resigned to his
non-rescinding of his non-resignation.

This statement is purely for the avoidance of doubt!!


Cheers

Steve

[sportbilly42]

I'd LOVE IT!! LOVE IT!!!… errmm … what was the question?

The Daily Geordie also has this news report:

“Affable and extremely likeable Gay Icon, Kevin Keegan (Kev) has today announced he will be holding a farewell concert, billed as ¨Auf Wiedersehen Pet¨ at St James's Park on Saturday night.

Kev issued a statement ¨I LOVE IT!! I LOVE Newcastle United, I really do…. I LOVE the Geordies, the banter, I really do. I LOVE the beer, I really do. I LOVE the fog on the tyne and the fat slag's, I really do, and I would like to reassure all my fans that I am NOT leaving St James's Park entirely, it is just a role-switch¨.

The role-switch Kev refers to is the astonishing news that he has resigned as Football Manager but WILL STAY ON as the clubs Entertainments Manager.

Tyneside cynics are whispering that this is an attempt to capitalize on his local fan base to revive a failed 1970's pop career. This is confirmed by the fact that his record label ¨The Gay Mackems¨ are re-releasing his 1979 sonnet, Head Over Heels in Love, which soared to number 31 in the UK pop charts.

A record company spokesman said ¨Kev is gonna be launched as a solo artist but before Christmas he plans to get together with a few pals and we will re-launch as; Kev and the Clowns, probably debuting with re-recordings of hits like; "Puppet on a String", "You won't find another fool like me Mike" and to make the most of his Gay Icon status, "Let's hear it for the Boys”

It seems the fans may be turning on Mike Ashley as a statement from a local fan, 'Biffa' Milburn, great-great-grandson of Newcastle legend Jackie Milburn, said:
"Why ey, ahl ev'n givupme beer, man, a'zlong as that fat bastahd buggahs off…!"



(Is this thread in danger of deletion.....?? Non military nonsense....)

[Doc]

(Is this thread in danger of deletion.....?? Non military nonsense....)

Is it bollocks

[sportbilly42]

When asked what he thought about his former colleague, Dennis Wise said earlier today that "He's NOT the Messiah.... He's a very sulky boy!"

(Then failed miserably at keeping a straight face.......)

[Tab]

When things get tough then Keegan get going

[Sully]

A few days after Keegan was appointed, the Newcastle chairman came out of a top Newcastle hotel and saw an old lady struggling with her shopping.

"Can you manage, pet?" said the chairman.

"Keegan's not gone already?" said the old dear.

[Ste Preece]

What's the genral opinion on KK's exit then. Was he WISE to walk out?


Cheers

Steve

[davo141]

as a smoggie its a pleasure to see such disaray at the geordies! ooo how im chuckling inside!

somethings a mess and they'll be lucky to find a new manager!

[Ste Preece]

I've heard that Joey Barton might be taking over as Manager.

Apparently, he plans to make a "serious assault" on the league and if they struggle towards the end of the season he's going to "fight" relegation.

Sounds like he'll go down better than Ameer Khan!!


Cheers

Steve

[davidemmerson]

Football sucks.