Ever had occasion to be cheeky with our brothers in blue ? [ no slagging please ]. All in fun.
The best laughs I ever had were with some blokes from one of the bands. Can’t remember which battalion.
We were sat on a RAF bus early in the morning ’79, waiting for the fog to clear before doing a balloon. I think we were over at Hullavington for some reason, instead of Brize. We were all doing the refresher course. I’d had an ankle injury before. The band lads were there and one was a senior NCO amongst them. Colour man or WO2. Something like that, can’t remember . I’ll call him a WO2 for argument’ sake.Very dry sense of humour, very, very funny. The PJI’s were all at the front of the bus and had our white cardboard lunch boxes . They were chatting away about whatever it is PJI’s chat about.
We got bored after a few hours and were laughing and chatting. Stories, lies,jokes. The language was…. , well it was what it was. Outside we saw a occifer approaching.To this point the WO2 hadn’t said a peep.
Immediately the WO2 jumped up and shouted
“Oiiiye!!! Watch the language”
….silence……
“There’s a c#$t coming on board !!”.
Then he sat down. Complete straight face.
Bus erupted. I thought excitedly “There must be some more coming from this bloke “.
Lunch time came with no break in the weather and off go the PJI’s to their mess. One of the lads said “Wonder how long it will be before they twig that we haven’t been fed yet ?”
They come back, still chatting and an hour later one of them says “Oops, that lot haven’t been fed yet “.
Mad rush as they start handing out the boxes. They just toss them at us, without saying a word, but when they get to the WO2 one them puts on a big smile and says “Sorry about that, here you go …..” and motions for him to take it.
In a brilliant move, he turned to the PJI, put the palm of his hand up towards him and said
“No thanks…. I had an apple three days ago” and then turned towards the window.
He was like that for the rest of the course. Wish I could remember his name. My mum’s coming out soon and I’ve asked her to bring my old phots.
I remembered that last night at three in the morning and woke the missus up with my noise. All this drivel is coming back me more and more each day.
Dave
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Being Cheeky With The RAF
BBK in mid 2000, my door gunner for that particular duty was B*****y a particularily dry humoured lad from the Midlands. Mid way through the day he went off for a swamp and while leaving a couple of crabs came in, young Flt Lt turns to B*****y and asks "Don't the Army teach you to wash your hands after having a piss"? "No" he replies, "they teach us not to piss on our hands..."
Another duty wandering back from the Galley, passes another Flt Lt who asks "why aren't you wearing your beret" quick as a flash from B*****y " because I can't get my head in my pocket"
Another duty wandering back from the Galley, passes another Flt Lt who asks "why aren't you wearing your beret" quick as a flash from B*****y " because I can't get my head in my pocket"
Brize. RAF wanted a few bodies as “cannon-fodder” [ bodies for use to train novice PJI’s ]. Couple of balloons each day for a week or two. Sounded like a nice swan. Bunch of us went. One of the lads S**** was a great bloke and was ex-merchant navy. He had a very unusual Vietnam Service medal as he had served on a civilian supply ship which had gone there many times. Of course he was ribbed constantly about his “maritime past” and Nam.
One day, the wind was a bit iffy and several times they thought about cancelling. It always died down, and we continued.
On one descent, the moment S****’s chute opened, a big gust of wind moved him towards the cable. The PJI was yelling on the mega-phone “Steer Away !!! Steer Away !!!”. You could see S**** desperately trying to work the lift-webs, but it was too late. He hit the cable, the chute partially deflated, slid down that thing very quickly, then managed to pull away from it at the last moment. He hit the deck really hard. Blur of activity. Meat wagon took him away.
Trainee PJI was on ground by now. Him and the bloke on the mega-phone in a big flap [ wasn’t their fault at all ].
Lad with the mega-phone says: “You all saw that, I told him to steer away…!!”
Instantly a voice from the back shouts
“Aye, but when he heard that, he was too busy looking for the rudder…”
Very fortunate. Broken leg only. Lads gave him a compass at the hospital.
Happy Days
Dave
One day, the wind was a bit iffy and several times they thought about cancelling. It always died down, and we continued.
On one descent, the moment S****’s chute opened, a big gust of wind moved him towards the cable. The PJI was yelling on the mega-phone “Steer Away !!! Steer Away !!!”. You could see S**** desperately trying to work the lift-webs, but it was too late. He hit the cable, the chute partially deflated, slid down that thing very quickly, then managed to pull away from it at the last moment. He hit the deck really hard. Blur of activity. Meat wagon took him away.
Trainee PJI was on ground by now. Him and the bloke on the mega-phone in a big flap [ wasn’t their fault at all ].
Lad with the mega-phone says: “You all saw that, I told him to steer away…!!”
Instantly a voice from the back shouts
“Aye, but when he heard that, he was too busy looking for the rudder…”
Very fortunate. Broken leg only. Lads gave him a compass at the hospital.
Happy Days
Dave
Very hot summer [ ’76 ? ] Stanford PTA. After every few bursts with the spotter on the Wombat, tracer would make the grass catch fire. Then you had to put it out. Everyone very grumpy, very tired. For some reason, a senior RAF officer from MOD was going to visit to observe “living conditions in the field”, to see how the other half “rough it”. Some of the lads caught wind of this a week before, and there was one day off, so they managed to get off camp.
He duly appeared one evening whilst dark and saw lads all cammed up eating compo with the hexy blazing away.
Sees something white and moves towards that. Lads had taken a nice starched white sheet as a tablecloth and put it over ammo boxes. Mess tins had been scrubbed shiny with vim and brillo. Little candelabra was on the table. Candles gently glowing
“Waiter” had on a pair of white gloves with a towel over his arm.
“Pate Sir “……..”
You could almost see the razzman’s brain trying to think of charges.
Dave
He duly appeared one evening whilst dark and saw lads all cammed up eating compo with the hexy blazing away.
Sees something white and moves towards that. Lads had taken a nice starched white sheet as a tablecloth and put it over ammo boxes. Mess tins had been scrubbed shiny with vim and brillo. Little candelabra was on the table. Candles gently glowing
“Waiter” had on a pair of white gloves with a towel over his arm.
“Pate Sir “……..”
You could almost see the razzman’s brain trying to think of charges.
Dave
