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Chav Nativity

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owdun
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Chav Nativity

Post by owdun »

Subject: FW: The Chav nativity




>
>There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
>She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe,
>innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn
>Nazaref.
>
>One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?'
>Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'
>
>Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me
yeah!
>I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
>
>So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
>Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an'
>that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and

>I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we

>are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
>
>Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn
>Beflehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah?
>To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn,
>innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's
>filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.
>
>Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on
their
>heads.
>They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from
>the East End.
>
>Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
>myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'
>
>It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's
>got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is
>comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to
>Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged it you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt

>on a
minging
>donkey'
>Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
>So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
>it's safe an' that.
>
>Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water
into
>Stella.


Aye Owdun. :evil:
>
>
Beast
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Post by Beast »

Well done Owdun, reading this put a smile on my face. :)
Sticky Blue
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Post by Sticky Blue »

A chavtivity!
:lol:
Drums beating, colours flying and bayonets fixed...
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flighty
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Post by flighty »

Christmas 2004, Benchill Primary in deepest, darkest Wythenshawe, home to thousands of grade A chavs.We get to the bit where the wise men are delivering their gifts and grovelling before baby Jesus.

Proud chav dad, sporting his bestest trainers, bling and Burberry cap thinks nothing of his mobile ringing, answering it and carrying on a conversation with his mate ..... at full volume.....whilst his darling daughter (Amy, whose ambition in life is to be either a solicitor or a pole dancer ..... honest) is performing the role of the virgin Mary.

Astonishing. :o

Jayne x
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Tom_running16
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Post by Tom_running16 »

Ah Chavs, we have far too many here in Crawley. Its quite amusing wacthing the next gen chavs, all smoking and swearing by the time they're 6. When will it end??? :o
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flo
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Post by flo »

Ah but do posh essex chavs wear burberry?? :wink:
Artist
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Post by Artist »

Frank

What can I say? ACE!!!

Image

Artist
Wholley
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Post by Wholley »

:D :D :D :D :D :D
Nice one Ste.
Had to turn my monitor upside down read it all though....
Your Chav's seem to be closely related to our Rednecks.
Didn't realise Aldi's had hit the UK. :P
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