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Barrack Tales

Discussions about those units who make up the Commando’s.
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Sea Soldier
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Post by Sea Soldier »

Yeah,I bet She could eat THREE Shredded Wheat ! :lol: :roll:
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Jan Nankerville

Post by El Prez »

Many of you may remember my favourite bootneck, Jan Nankerville. PW at Deal late '60s early '70s, evil character ashore and afloat. If you cocked up he'd look skyward mutter something about foxtrotting sprogs, where do they get them these days and also what is the Corps coming to, before reorganising your existence. He took me through Deal in '70.
When 41 went to Malta in '71 he was my section corporal, what a guide through your first unit. We had been in St Andrews a week or two and most of Malta was still new to us, except Jan who had seen it all before. In his Devonian accent he suggested I accompany him to Floriana one warm day. Being compliant, easily led and green I agreed. He installed us at a bar and asked me what I observed, I commented on the abundance of what had to be matelots wives going in and out of an office (Ours were still in UK). "Correct, young lad, and they've just been to collect their allotments, now which one shall it be?" Of course I was amazed, married six months and scared witless, he was off like a hound after a fox, which of course he was. I understand he is no longer on the planet, a great loss.
You should talk to somebody who gives a f**k.
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Post by Rotary Booty »

I was in 45 Cdo, in Malta, in 1957, and they asked for volunteers for a trip on HMS Surprise. Being a sprog, I volunteered. HMS Surprise was a sloop and the CinC's yacht. Our 'trip' was to take him to Naples and bring back the new CinC. We had to be up at 0400hrs to polish the brass work around the CinC's area, which consisted of most of the Surprise. After 0900hrs we were to be out of sight. It turned out to be a very popular polishing party, as it was VERY warm, and the brass portholes were open. We discovered the CinC's two 17 year old daughters sharing a cabin, and they had cast aside the sheets as they slept! Never has brass shone so brightly!
Once in Naples we provided a Quarter Guard for the many visiting dignitaries. This took hours, and became quite boring as we came from the 'stand easy' to the 'present' and then back again. Sludge Heathcote, our officer, had his back to us of course, and would bring his sword down at the appropriate moment. I guess he dosed off, as a VIP suddenly appeared at the top of the ladder, and Sludge ordered 'present arms'. We were stood easy. He must have brought his sword down 5 times as he tried to work out what the hell we were doing behind him! It took a long time to get from 'stand easy' to the 'present'.
The best part came when a priest arrived at the top of the ladder wearing voluminous black robes and a very tall hat. It had got quite windy, and as he let go of the hand rail to acknowledge our salute, he was blown straight back down the ladder!
Never volunteer? Do me a favour, it was GREAT!
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Sense of humour failure?

Post by SYB »

Picture the scene?
Sitting with a few oppos eating my scran in a very busy galley in Norway.
Gardermoen I think?
Lots of hungry bootnecks and the odd Pongo. Not much food left but still a long que?
Young Pongo shouts over the serving hatch to the stressed RM Sgt chef!
"SARGE OI SARGE"

RM Sgt:- Sarge? (obvious sense of humour failure due to sudden silence)
SARGE Ill give you SARGE when I come over there and MasSARGE your back PasSarge with my SauSARGE if you call me that again!
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Post by Rotary Booty »

41 Commando, Support Troop, 1964ish, Bickleigh, and we headed 'Up North' in a huge convoy to Otterburn Camp, Northumberland for field firing. We stopped overnight at RMR Tyne and as my parents lived only 12 miles away in Ashington, they came to collect me for a night at home.
In the morning the traffic in Newcastle was horrendous and they only just got me back in time for the convoy moving off. The OC spotted me and told me that as I was a local lad, I could lead the convoy to Otterburn!
We left RMR Tyne into the morning rush hour with 'panic stricken local lad' in the lead landrover, followed by 20 vehicles including 4 tonners towing trailers. I was lost within seconds and blindly gave directions based on nothing realistic. We travelled down backstreets where the washing was draped across from one side of the street to the other, lifting it over the vehicles as we went! From there we eventually ended up out of the Newcastle suburbs but whether it was North, South, East or West was anyone's guess. including mine. I was really sweating by now but kept up the appearance of knowing what I was doing as visions of my stripes being torn off crossed my mind. To my horror we ended up travelling down a country road, just wide enough for the 4 tonners, that had grass growing up the middle of it! If a tractor came out of a field we were doomed! After what seemed a millennium we arrived at a cross roads. I peered at the worn sign which read 'Otterburn 3 miles'!!
After we parked up in the camp car park the OC came up to my vehicle. "Thank God you were leading us Sgt Blevins, we'd NEVER have found this place."
You see, there is a God that looks after Geordies!!
[img]http://avanimation.avsupport.com/gif/Snoopy.gif[/img] So far.....so good........but watch your six!
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Post by Rotary Booty »

There are guys out there with much better memories than mine; not difficult I know, but Kev has reminded me of this one that happened back in the 60's.....to me!
40 Cdo were in Sarawak on 3 month stints on the border, and we manned police stations and villages. ( In one village we used, the heads were suspended over the pig pen!! Do you like pork? I used to!)
Anyway, I digress, time could hang very heavy, and to pass the hours we used to write to firms in the UK praising their products, in the hope of receiving freebies. Sometimes it worked. For instance, we would tell the makers of Mars Bars that one of their delicious bars could keep us going on a long jungle patrol, and a complimentary box of Mars would arrive. I wrote to Wilkinson razor blades, and told them that when on a 3 month patrol, operating in the jungle and shaving in cold water streams, I only needed one of their excellent blades. I received a letter in reply thanking me for my interesting information. At the bottom was added, "Please find attached your next three months supply", and selotaped to the page was one razor blade!! (He must have been an ex-bootie!)
Kev reminded me that I sent this story to Readers Digest, Humour in Uniform, and it was published, earning me £25!
I think the payment is a lot more these days.
Cheers Kev.
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Barrack Tales

Post by Delboy »

HMS Tiger 1965, Jock Blair wrote to the Signal toothpaste company complaining that the last tube he bought had the red stripe missing.

As a compensatory gesture they sent him a promotional tube in a box that measured about six feet .

It was sight to see big Jock making his way through the passageways with an OG towel around his waist, tooth brush in his right hand and a bloody great box on his left shoulder.

Cheers

Del
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Post by El Prez »

I worked with Jock Blair at Portland, he delighted in telling me about the night he inadvertently used Anusol instead of SR. (2500 matelots and two Bootnecks, guess who won!)

Derek, it must have been hell in the Ulu; a bit of skin who shaved every three weeks, no girls and 100 bored, hairy Bootnecks. Tell all. :oops:
You should talk to somebody who gives a f**k.
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Post by Chester »

I remember my old fella telling me about a mysterious vandal who had scrawled the following on the back of a door in one of the heads in Malta........

"IT'S NO USE STANDING ON THE SEAT - THE CRABS IN HERE CAN JUMP SIX FEET" :lol:
Last edited by Chester on Sun 13 Oct, 2002 9:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Sea Soldier »

Stuey !

Welcome back mate ... we've missed 'yer ! :lol:
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Post by Rotary Booty »

Rob, nothing to tell really, honest, at that time I was a 25 yrs old, married/unaccompanied, HW1, Sergeant, and I was shaving every day!
The village girls were stunning, until they were about 20, but if you went near one you never did it again!
I think nurse needs to bring you off the 'dream' pills!
Aye, Derek
Last edited by Rotary Booty on Tue 15 Oct, 2002 8:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by El Prez »

Derek, Salamat Lagi, I know what you mean, our Amah aged a year every three months, terrible to behold. Mind you nurse is ageing rapidly as well; I'm only after the insurance dosh!
You should talk to somebody who gives a f**k.
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Post by harry hackedoff »

Hope you realise, she reads this whilst you`re asleep. Life in your hands, life in your hands :roll:

Aye Harry
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Post by El Prez »

St Andrews, Malta one dark warm night, and Mick Summersbee had a few over the top in the NAAFI. He was sent back by the guard commander when he tried to go ashore. Mick threw a wobbler and started launching lockers and beds around next doors room. Amazingly all these big strong Bootnecks huddled in our grot wincing every time a locker thudded against the wall. It would only have taken 8 or 10 to hold him down. 8)
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Post by Yorkie Malone »

Jan Nankervill... he was great singing the aphabet song. Iv'e never heard it since.

The one with the young girls... Aden 1967 and we had to guard the married quarters in Little Aden. There were no spare blokes so the only ones left to do the job was the Coy storeman. First night no probs. Second night "I'll do it tonight Sgt Maj" and the 3rd night.

Sgt Maj now very perplexed as to get a good volunteer. So that night sneeked up on the OP only to find the storeman 1 Looking the wrong way 2 Looking into Perce's wifes bedroom and playing with himself.

Again Aden 45 detailed off to guard married quarters in RAF Kormaksa. Two days and there was the request on BFPS. From all the members of 45 CDO to all the wives of RAF Kormaksa we send this song. Look through any window yea!!!!
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