Tour De France!

[harry hackedoff]

Heyup cycling fans, it`s London, it`s July and it`s here again~
It`s the 2007 Tour de France.
Fantastic start to this year’s Tour as the time trial started just up the road from the Cenotaph. Big hype about Bradley Wiggers was never going to be more than that and he did well to manage third. Fabian was like an Exocet on heat. Blew every rider away and knocked ten seconds off Kloden`s time. Wiggers isn`t capable of that.
Here’s today’s time trial route


And today’s results


1. CANCELLARA Fabian 33 TEAM CSC 00:08:50
2. KLÖDEN Andréas 196 ASTANA 00:09:03 + 00:00:13
3. HINCAPIE George 114 DISCOVERY CHANNEL TEAM 00:09:13 + 00:00:23
4. WIGGINS Bradley 149 COFIDIS CREDIT PAR TELEPHONE 00:09:13 + 00:00:23
5. GUSEV Vladimir 113 DISCOVERY CHANNEL TEAM 00:09:15 + 00:00:25
6. KARPETS Vladimir 15 CAISSE D’EPARGNE 00:09:16 + 00:00:26
7. VINOKOUROV Alexandre 191 ASTANA 00:09:20 + 00:00:30
8. DEKKER Thomas 54 RABOBANK 00:09:21 + 00:00:31
9. QUINZIATO Manuel 157 LIQUIGAS 00:09:22 + 00:00:32
10. VAUGRENARD Benoît 169 FRANCAISE DES JEUX 00:09:22 + 00:00:32

Here we go for a smallie ride down to Canterbury tomorrow, the first of four Sundays until we hit endex on the Champs on the 29th
Here’s the Etage

and here’s the profile, nowt too severe by TDF standards but it will be a good finish to the English stages which are no more than a couple of warmers into the buts, a smallie livener before we all get serious next week Yes please




The Tour will go to lengths completely unforeseen this year to get back to an untarnished image it hasn’t really had since I`ve been watching it.
The drug testing regimen is supposed to be as thorough as they can manage and riders DNA has all been logged to assure sample integrity. They should get CSI Miami over, mind you all they ever care about is semen samples

Enjoy the Tour, for a change they are going clockwise this year, it makes all the diff to the camera angles it`s going to be a Hoollie.
It always is!

Here`s what happened last year

viewtopic.php?t=13004&start=0

[Stu-]

Takes the piss out of the piddly 40 mile ride I'm doing tomorrow. If I do it in 2 hrs 30 I'll be happy. The averages those guys clock up in speed is just unbelievable.

[druadan]

It's going straight past my house, with the result that I can't get a vehicle out between midnight tonight and 1900 tomorrow, nor get a taxi home from a Saturday night. Hence being here Screwed my Sunday too

[Doc]

I got a bus once from Stuttgart upto liege for the prologue and stage one. Lances 6th win. I was there in my usps tshirt sat on me bergen fron 4am and slept rough until next day when the return bus pitched up.

Great day it was too. Tour of germany was brills, sadly in the uk its all poof ball. Tour of uk is taking off slowly though.

viva le tour!

[Wholley]

As it's the Tour De France what is it doing in London?
Napoleon finally got his way?
And who gives a shit.
Venus Williams winning Wimblublum is another matter though.

[Doc]

Its also been to Belgim, Spain, Switzerland, Ireland, Germany.

Tour de Pont pah!

[harry hackedoff]

Piss off Paullie, we`re talking about real sports here and none of the made-up shite you lot play like boys rounders, rugby for wimps or full scaled scalextric World series of one
And don`t mention Venus Williams ffs Frank Bruno, anyone?
I remember when I fancyed all the top seeds, even those scoring high sevens and over on the dyke-o-meter But there is no way I`d give her one.

Anyhow, today`s etage, Brills

There was no way I thought McEwan would even be in the top fifty at five k, never mind winning the barst How the flock does he do it Absofarkinglutely amazing
Nice old day round Kent and great to see the crowds turning out for it.

Here`s tomorrow`s stage from Dunkers to Ghent in the Flemish (Vlaams) part of Belgique. Flatter than a Witches tit, still a good stage though at nearly 170 ks.
I`m just starting to settle in now

[Sisyphus]

Piss off Paullie, we`re talking about real sports here and none of the made-up shite

There was no way I thought McEwan would even be in the top fifty at five k, never mind winning the barst

The Tour was the absolute highlight of my year, say, 10 years ago. But is it 'real' sport or a competition between chemists these days? The Olympics can't compete with the Team Chemists on the Tour.

Good on McEwan! But what's he on??? Give us back your yellow jersey is the latest anthem for the Tour.

[Stu-]

Just saw the highlights on eurosport. Did well did the aussie, after that crash.

[Wholley]

And don`t mention Venus Williams ffs Frank Bruno, anyone?

Whatever floats yer boat Harry.

Once you go black you never go back,
It says here

[harry hackedoff]

Mate, I`m a Scouser, born and bred. I`ve had every colour known to man and in my youth was partial to a bit of dark meat, don`t tell Whitey though Above all, the girls round Nelson Street were the best for me. Not too light, not too dark, been in the oven just long enough and once you’ve had one, five minutes later you want her again

Rocky, I would have agreed with your "best chemist" point till last year(I`ve said the same thing meself"best chemist wins" ain`t that right Lynford?)
But after 05 and last year, it seems they are finally going to sort out the chemistry. Where do you draw the line, but? Total, unrestricted chemical assistance, blood doping, testosterone, steroids or absolute zero tolerance? Like the Salbutamol case for instance? Mate, you’d have to admit last year’s Tour was one of the best ever, even if Flandy`s ban eventually stands, wouldn’t you?

Well today’s stage was a typical flat stage, smallie breakaway group were ignored really till the last few klicks when the sprint teams` droids started to wind them back in. I was watching McEwen pushing his lads up or dropping them out as conditions directed in the heavy rain and I was thinking about his astounding performance yesterday. I asked me self how much better can he get? Because we never ever see his best, we don`t. We can`t really look at one performance and say “that`s as good as he gets” because the art of being a sprinter on le TDF, (and it is an art), is the art of doing “just enough”. Big sprinters aren’t interested in winning by five klicks, for them five centimetres is “just enough”. Gert Steegmans did just enough today to get the stage win, but big Tom got the green jersey on timings.
Big news today was the mega pile-up on the home sprint with riders going tits, everywhere, hopefully no real casualties. It wasn`t as bad as I though it was going to be when I saw the first man go down and especially the geezer on the right who really creamed in. I bet demolishing the crowd barrier wasn`t a laugh, either.
Phil and Paul were both on form today with your man coming up with two new Liggetisms. As the peloton dropped off the main drag to a big right hand sweeper, back under that bridge, they came upon a roundabout.” That`s a round circle” says Ligget and then minutes later as it was honking down “All the sprinters are thinking about is the finish. The weather isn`t on their vocabulary”



Tomorrow’s route through the Pas de Calais is 236.5 klicks


here’s the profile, still flat as
Long old drag, through the Battlefields of The Great War and I`ve visited the area many times and stood amidst the rows and rows of white crosses. They Shall Grow Not Old.

On the good side, the riders start to get on the good stuff as the Etage finishes in Compiegne

Enjoy it for the total spectacle that it is. Every Tour is different, every Tour is the same,
Fantastique, n`est pas

[got1]

Harry, mega pile up. Smashing, they should have stuck to the pavements like they usually do.

[harry hackedoff]

That`s just the cycle couriers round Westminster mate

Anyway, here we go with the Journal de Tour de `Arry `Ackedoff

Bonjour, tout le Monde!
Well, long tedious drag of a stage today and I thought we were going to see that rare old bird, a successful breakaway from the Peloton. Can`t really remember the last time we had one, years ago anyway. The secret to staying out is to work together and support each other and that`s what they did mile after mile and the sums weren’t looking good for a catch up, even at ten klicks out. Too many miles, not enough minutes Then at about two klicks out they started messing about and the big bad Peloton monster, chewing it`s way through the tarmac, started to chase them down.
Something else we have not seen for ages was the maillot jaune defending his own position and blowing off the sprinters to actually win a stage! Incredible!
Bit of a surprise that Millar didn`t bother to defend his jersey as King of the Mountains but Auge had obviously worked out that on a flat etage like today’s he could lift the jersey with ease. Bit cheeky, but Millar didn`t see it or didn`t care

What was interesting today was to see the stats on work-rates. Teams with vested interests were left to do all the hard yards and the rest are happy to sit on the bus till later in the Tour. Team bosses are getting smarter each year and the tactics continually evolve which is why any two Tours are never the same. What never changes is the excitement if you are a fan, young Jedii
Early days, bien sur, mais absolutement "wide open" as Monsewer `Ackedoff used to say to his Oiseaux Chinois

Today`s results


Tomorrow`s Route


and the profile

[harry hackedoff]

mais absolutement "wide open" as Monsewer `Ackedoff used to say to his Oiseaux Chinois

To the question, "How jer want me legs, `Arry?"
Dead right I did

Well, that`s the end of the flat-ish stages for four days. We now begin the serious stuff of high altitude climbs and the absolute brutal tactics, the big attacks with alliances forged one minute and dropped the next. It`s the real TdF for moi!
Here’s the next three stages, it`d be a right barst driving these in a car never mind racing over them on a push bike

Look at the profile into Tignes, it`s like a rip-saw

This one`s a bit naughty,drop out of Val D`Isere and downhill all the way to the bottom of a two thousand metre climb which they can see for most of the run down. Tears before bedtime today! For some, le Tour ends here



My fave for overall win would be Kloden. Cadel Evans thinks he`s in with a shout and he has three Tours under his belt so you never know. Leipheimer obviously is in there and Vino Vinokourov would’ve been up for it but I think his trip to the infirmary has put paid to that. Boonen is a great sprint rider but he’ll blow up on the last climb on Tuesday. Sad but true
Monday is a make and mend

On another matter, Floyd Landis is on a national book tour in the States flogging his version of the fark-up that was his drugs test. Called “The real story of how I won” or similar. He doesn`t look much like a drug cheat at the public appearances. I hope he wins his case and the result is expected in August/September. The way that he has kept away from le Tour this year may give some clue to the possible outcome. I hope so. I believe he is not a cheat.

[harry hackedoff]

Happy Bastille Day to all you sad Bastilles out there!
Bit of a shake-out day today with all the big boys happy to stretch the legs and not lose too much time. Tomorrow will be a different race. Much tougher climbs, more technical descents and because Monday`s a rest day they will be giving it rocks
Still not easy to pick a winner and just as important, not easy to pick the losers.
Vino was still in there today and his test comes tomorrow on the big Col about half-way through the stage, I think he’ll stay in if he makes it through the day without too much pain from his fall. Either that or he’ll wrap his tits in. Shit or bust.
Nice touch today with young Gerdemann winning in only his second year since turning pro, we can expect big things from him in the future.

Today`s Results
1. GERDEMANN Linus 25 T-MOBILE TEAM 10:43:40
2. LANDALUZE Inigo 76 EUSKALTEL - EUSKADI 10:45:04 + 00:01:24
3. DE LA FUENTE David 205 SAUNIER DUVAL - PRODIR 10:46:25 + 00:02:45
4. LEFEVRE Laurent 125 BOUYGUES TELECOM 10:46:35 + 00:02:55
5. SOLER HERNANDEZ Juan Mauricio 219 BARLOWORLD 10:46:45 + 00:03:05
6. KLÖDEN Andréas 196 ASTANA 10:47:19 + 00:03:39
7. GUSEV Vladimir 113 DISCOVERY CHANNEL TEAM 10:47:31 + 00:03:51
8. KARPETS Vladimir 15 CAISSE D’EPARGNE 10:47:32 + 00:03:52
9. ASTARLOZA Mikel 73 EUSKALTEL - EUSKADI 10:47:35 + 00:03:55
10. DEKKER Thomas 54 RABOBANK 10:47:37 + 00:03:57